Finding Myself
by lovely aldebaran
Summary: Riku has problems to deal with: family, friends, relationships. Will he still be able to he happy? yaoi.
1. In the Moment

Finding Myself

Chapter 1: In the Moment

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts

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Riku walked along the boardwalk with his two best friends, Axel and Demyx. It was the first evening of spring vacation of his sophomore year of high school. It was Demyx's, too, and they were ready for the break after months and months of hard work. Riku thought the school headmaster must be incredibly unhappy and intent on making everyone else unhappy too, because breaks were few and far between. On top of that, they were short. But this vacation was different from last years; it was a week longer. Axel, a junior at the same school, didn't really care. He was sick of school and didn't try like Riku and Demyx did. Sometimes Demyx teased that Axel was going to drop out, and when Axel, in all seriousness, replied that he was considering it, Riku practically freaked out. He was a dutiful student, not because he wanted a future for himself but because his father worked hard to put him through a private school. Riku wanted to repay him, and this was the only way he knew how. Of course, being headstrong, Riku also insisted that his friends do the same. Demyx was pretty good about school, but Axel was a continuous worry for Riku. People outside the close-knit group didn't know it, but Riku was something of a mother hen.

But Demyx had stayed calm when Axel said he might drop out, and said that he would too if Axel did. Axel, caring more for his friend than himself, decided that maybe he wouldn't drop out after all. Riku didn't always understand that about Axel; despite being irresponsible and sometimes childish, he was unswervingly loyal to his friends and didn't apply the same rules to himself he did to them. Cool salt air breezed through Riku's jacket, making him shiver.

"Do you want my jacket, too?" Axel asked. Riku shook his head no and they continued on to the end of the boardwalk in silence. Most of the cheap food stands were closed but the arcade was open, bright lights flashing and crowded still. The three boys walked past the arcade, staring at the teens inside. There were so many different kinds of people and so many labels for all of them. Riku liked to think that the trio formed a different kind of people, ones who couldn't be labeled. Or if they were, the label wouldn't be adequate. They leaned on the rail at the very end where wooden boards dropped off into a blackness, at this time of night only the sound of the ocean could be heard, smashing against the pillars, but that was it.

"It's fucking _cold_." Demyx had been picking up on Axel's swearing lately, Riku noted. He didn't think it fit the young blond, innocent as he was; certainly the most innocent of the three. Riku tut tuted at him, wagging a finger jokingly.

"I don't think you realize just how funny you sound." Demyx glanced ruefully at Riku and humphed. Axel patted his back in consolation.

"Don't worry, someday you'll be able to be cool as I am." Axel grinned and Demyx elbowed him. The three stood closed together as the wind picked up, Demyx in the middle. They said nothing for a while. Riku enjoyed the feeling of freedom the wind gave him. It blew is sliver hair back, and he lifted his chin, defying it. Axel was impatient though, ready to do something exiting. He had promised to keep the other two boys out all night in celebration of the break.

"You guys wanna catch a movie or something? There's that new horror flick out, you know, the one with all the blood and guts…" Demyx shivered this time, but not from the cold. He knew Axel was teasing him about his fear of scary movies, but he didn't care.

"All scary movies have blood and guts," Riku said disinterestedly, slightly annoyed that Axel had broken into his reverie. "Still, let's go. It'll be fun." Riku turned back, looking at the long walk they had to the car. He sighed, completely content with life.

"Don't worry, I'll hold your hand through the whole thing, okay?" Axel teased Demyx more, earning himself another jab to the ribs. He laughed, and the other two joined in. They felt the lightness of no responsibility and were enjoying it to the fullest.

Back at the car, Axel pulled his keys out of his long black coat and unlocked the door. It squeaked when opened, and the younger two piled in the backseat, which was stained with age and use. Axel got in the drivers seat and started the car. Riku always got nervous when Axel drove whether he was in the car or not; Axel was so reckless, it was a miracle he hadn't crashed yet. They sped off into the night. The bright red numbers in the dashboard showed it was almost 11:30. Even so, Riku didn't feel how late it was, even if he usually when to sleep and hour and a half earlier. Or so he thought. By the time they got to the theatre, he was snoring peacefully away, head bouncing on the glass window as the car went over speed bumps. After one particularly violent _bump_, Riku snapped awake, surprised he had fallen asleep in the first place.

"Time to get up, sleepy-head." Demyx shook his shoulder, unaware that Riku was already awake. Riku answered with a groan and got out of the car.

Axel insisted on paying for the tickets. He had just gotten a pretty well paying job, and he wanted to show off a little. Riku took it the wrong way.

"It' not like we're your girlfriend." Axel smiled a little sad smile.

"Does that mean I get to have two boyfriends?" Axel had known since his freshman year he was gay. He had had a crush on one of the male teachers, the physical education teacher. They guy was young and good-looking, at least to Axel, who's senses couldn't be trusted since he was head-over-heels for the guy. Of course, any real relationship was impossible. So it happened that Axel kissed a guy who had come on to him at a rock concert. The guy looked remotely like his teacher, and he was older, too. That was his first and only kiss. Axel wasn't embarrassed about being gay, but he didn't want his two friends to know. He didn't think they wouldn't like him anymore, but the possibility was there, and he wasn't about to put the friendship on the line for something like that. He resolved just to stay single for as long as it took. It wasn't like he liked either of them, other than a small crush on Riku from once upon a time. It didn't really matter.

He bought the tickets but let Riku and Demyx fend for themselves when it came to snacks. Riku got chocolate, and Demyx got popcorn to share with Axel. They sat down in the empty theatre, right in the middle. Demyx insisted on sitting between the other two. He said it made him feel just a little safer.

"Don't worry, we won't let the movie monsters get to you." Riku laughed and Demyx's cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

"Whatever. I'm not _that_ scared." It was obvious, once the movie started, that he was. Demyx was unconsciously whimpering and shaking. Riku and Axel scooted up close on either side of him, trying to make him feel better even if they did tease him. Demyx appreciated it.

After the movie full of blood and guts and women getting sawed in half, Riku and Axel led the shaking boy from the theatre and back to the car. Once outside, he calmed down a little, and in the car he was almost fully recovered. They were heading back to Axel's place to have a sleepover. The plans they had earlier, however, were ruined by the movie. This early in the morning, they most likely weren't going to get a whole lot of sleep.

Axel's place was actually his father's place. But his father was never around and Axel couldn't remember having a mother, so the place had become his. Not that it was anything to be proud of. It was small and dirty, in the bad side of town. Axel said he didn't mind so much, that he had everything he needed: a bed, a kitchen, a tv, and the convenience store at the corner of the street. Riku envied his freedom, something he wished he could have all the time. The boys practically fell through the doorway once it was opened.

"Jesus, it's fucking late," Axel noted. "Who wants the bed?" Of course, all of them did. It ended up that all three piled on, but in the morning, Axel found himself on the floor with both the pillows and blanket, Demyx was peacefully sleeping on the corner of the bed pushed up to the wall, and Riku was upside-down on the bed. Axel was the first to wake up at 1 in the afternoon. He made a huge breakfast, using everything he had bought a few days before just for this occasion. Eggs, bacon, sausage, potatoes, fruit, apple and raspberry turnovers, chocolate milk and coffee were what he had decided on. By the time it was done Riku and Demyx had woken up and were waiting to gorge themselves. Despite the time Axel spent preparing the breakfast, it was eaten in front of the tv. Riku never ate like that at his house, as his dad insisted they eat at the table together. The mindless staring at the tv reminded him that it was break and he could do whatever he wanted. This though made him laugh out loud.

"So, what are we going to do today?" He stood and stretched, ready to clean up and get going.

"How about the beach?" Demyx suggested. Riku started to bring the dirty plates to the sink, but Axel stopped him.

"I can get that later. And I don't feel like the beach."

"Come on, Axel. Its such a nice day, all sunny and warm. We should go… please?" Demyx batted his eyes at Axel playfully. He knew that the older boy wouldn't be able to refuse.

"Okay, fine. We can go."

The beach was exactly as Demyx said it would be: hot and sunny. Usually at this time of year, it was still rainy and sometimes chilly, but today was special. It made Riku happy to be there. The boys swam and buried Demyx in the sand, then swam again. Even Axel, who was incredibly conscious of his almost too-pale skin forgot about that and just fooled around. After a while they tired themselves out, Riku and Axel from swimming and Demyx from digging himself out of the sand while the others watched and laughed. They were lying on the dry sand, staring up at the sky and talking about nothing in particular when Riku's cell rang. He ignored it, letting the Sanctuary ring tone play. After a moment, whoever it was called again, and when Riku ignored it, again.

"Jesus, Riku, just pick up the goddamned phone," Axel complained. It had woken him up. So Riku pulled himself off the warm sand and got the cell. It was his dad that had called. This was weird, Riku thought, since his dad knew where he was going to be. He called back, and his dad answered on the first ring.

"Where are you?" was the first thing Riku heard.

"At the beach with the guys." It was a and you can't do anything about it statement.

"I want you to come to dinner with me and Lydia. We have some things to talk about." The tone of voice made Riku nervous. "Have Axel drop you off at home as soon as possible. Bye." He didn't wait for Riku to say bye back before hanging up. What was up with such a strange phone call? Riku had no idea what this was about. Going to dinner with Lydia? She was his father's girlfriend. They had been together for just a few months. Riku hated the bitch.

"Riku, what's up?" Demyx asked worriedly. He picked up on the nervous energy radiating from Riku.

"My dad says that I have to go home and get ready to go to dinner with him and Lydia. I have no idea why this is happening." Riku rubbed his temple. The woman gave him a headache, and she took pleasure in doing so. Going through a whole dinner with her would be horrible. "If I don't come back, you know why I died."

Axel chucked. "I'm sure it'll be okay. Just call me and I'll pick you up, okay?" Riku nodded in thanks. "I guess we'd better go. Don't want your dad nagging on me for getting you home too late."

The drive to Riku's house seemed too short. There was actually quite a bit of traffic (and swearing from Axel because of it), but Riku wanted to spend time with his friends, not his dad and Lydia. If it was just his dad, it wouldn't be so horrible, but… that lady was so mean and conniving. He didn't understand why his dad was still with her.

"Just call me when you're done. I'll pick you up wherever."

"Thanks, man."

"Good luck!" shouted Demyx through the window as they drove away.

When Riku walked through the door, his dad shouted something about Lydia helping him choose something to wear. Riku warily walked to his room. The door was open wide, adding to the tension. There was nothing in the world that could have prepared him for the typhoon that seemed to have hit his room. Clothes were spread all over everything; the bed, the desk, the floor. Ties that didn't belong to Riku were lined up next to a select few collard shirts. And in the middle of the havoc stood Lydia, hands on her hips. Riku stared at the room in shock.

"What are you doing? Go take a shower. Quickly, now." This comment made Riku stare at her in surprise. She was awfully comfortable with bossing him around. "Go." She pointed to the door. He slowly turned around, still in shock, and trudged to the bathroom.

In the shower, Riku thought about what had happened. His dad never talked to him like that. It was just mean. Not that it hurt or anything, but still… and the was Lydia walked into his room without asking and went through his clothes… he wondered where she got her attitude.

"Get out already! We need to go, and you've been in there for fifteen minutes!" Lydia yelled through the door. Riku sighed and dried off, shaking his hair like a wet puppy. The sight of his hair flying around made him giggle as he watched himself in the mirror.

"What are you doing in there?" An exasperated voice said. Riku wrapped his towel around his waist. It seemed Lydia had finally chosen what she wanted him to wear. The outfit consisted of a dress shirt and pants, tie, and jacket. And then he noticed the leather shoes at the foot of the bed. "Be ready in half an hour. No wrinkles in the clothes and hair tied back and neat. Okay?" And with that, she left the room. Riku stuck his tongue out at her as she walked out.

Half an hour later Riku and his dad were ready and waiting for Lydia, who was nowhere to be seen. Another half an hour later, Lydia said she would be done in ten minutes. His father was wearing a suit, the first time Riku had ever seen him in one. Riku wore his jacket buttoned for now, wearing his own shirt underneath. He was sure it would give Lydia a nice surprise once they got to wherever they were going. Fifteen minutes later, Lydia walked down the stairs dressed in a skimpy black dress. The sight made Riku want to throw up.

That dinner was the fanciest dinner Riku had ever had in his life. The portions were tiny, the waiters degrading with their accents and demeaning looks. It was obvious to Riku and everyone else there that they weren't meant to be there; they were out of place as a frog in a birdcage. The three of them ended up ordering too many too small dishes. By the time they were finished eating, Riku could tell whatever this was about was coming soon.

"Riku, we have something to tell you."

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How was it for a first chapter? Everyone loves a review (especially me), so please do. Thanks :)


	2. Married

Finding Myself

Chapter 2: Married

Disclaimer: I don't own it.

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"Riku, we have something to tell you," his dad started. But then he stopped, hesitant. As if he didn't know if he knew what to say.

"Yes…" Riku prompted. Of course, Lydia, being impatient, took over.

"We have decided to get married."

Riku was shocked into silence. Married. That means Lydia would be his step mother. It couldn't be. This couldn't be happening. He sat there with his eyes and mouth wide open.

"Riku, are you okay?" his father asked, voice filled with concern.

"Of course he is. He's just overreacting," Lydia snapped. Riku didn't feel okay. He felt sick. He wanted to get away, and he didn't want the tears that were welling up to spill. He couldn't look weak in front of his dad, but especially not in front of Lydia. She would tear him up later for that. He took in a shaky breath, visibly shaken.

"I'm fine. I just… need time to think." He left the answer simple. Because even though he hadn't been asked anything, he knew he was expected to give an answer. His dad seemed to understand, or if he didn't, he knew that Riku needed some time to himself. He paid for the too-expensive dinner and they left. Riku was silent in the car, not wanting to think about what was going to happen. He couldn't keep his mind off it, though. They had been together for a few months, not years. Did they even love each other? Riku had a suspicious feeling that they didn't, that it was for some other reason. It wasn't inconceivable that Lydia was just using his dad. They weren't rich, but they weren't dirt poor either.

When Riku stepped out of the car, he realized he was in front of Axel's apartment building. He sighed in relief. His dad knew to put him somewhere safe, somewhere he would be able to figure things out. Riku was thankful for that. He shut the door to the car, and without saying bye walked away.

The door to Axel's apartment was unlocked, so Riku went in without knocking. The tv was on, but he didn't see or hear anyone. Was he alone here to? Tears welled up again, and this time he couldn't hold them back. He felt abandoned and unwanted. Then he noticed his two friends cuddled up on the couch, asleep. Axel was holding the smaller boy closely, breathing deeply. Demyx had a smile on his face; he looked like an angel in Axel's arms. Riku suspected Axel had a thing for guys. It didn't bother him at all, but he knew Demyx didn't, and he didn't want either of them to get hurt. He smiled despite the tears. The world seemed better in the dirty little apartment. And so he did the only logical thing: he pounced on the two. Demyx yelped and Axel woke up laughing. Immediately, they both noticed something was wrong even though Riku was trying to hide it. Demyx began to ask what was wrong, but Axel just shook his head _quiet_ and ruffled Riku's hair. The three spent the rest of the night playing games and eating junk food. Axel wouldn't let Riku think of whatever had happened at the dinner he had with his parents.

Demyx was the first to fall asleep. Riku turned off the tv and the PS3. He took a pillow from the couch and lay down on the floor. He wanted to sleep, but thoughts of the marriage loomed in his head. Axel sat down next to him, whispering so not to wake Demyx.

"Are you alright? If you wanna talk about it, I'm here for you."

"I know. Thanks, Axel." Riku tried to smile into the dark. Half of him wanted to pour his soul out into Axel's keeping, and the other half whished for just the opposite. Of course Riku had to explain what had happened. The other listened patiently, hugging Riku when the tears came and he couldn't speak. They stayed like that for what felt like hours. The contact made Riku feel better, more secure. It was proof that someone was there for him and did care for him, even if he was abandoned by his family. The tears eased, and the embarrassment began. He pulled back from Axel, turning away to hide his red eyes. The small action made Axel chuckle.

"Don't hide from me. I think you're fucking beautiful right now." He meant to be joking, but the way the words came out, it didn't sound like it. At that moment, it didn't really matter.

"Thank you."

"Yea. Anytime."

"Goodnight."

"Night."

They woke up late again the next morning. Axel wasn't up for making breakfast, and Demyx wanted to go out and do something anything. They decided to go to Denny's for breakfast, and then go hang out at the pier. Riku explained what had happened to Demyx, this time without the tears. Riku didn't want to go home, he said, and when Axel said he could stay over as long as he wanted, Demyx decided he couldn't miss out on the fun. They pointed out that Riku couldn't ignore the situation at home forever, though. For now, Riku wanted to be in the moment, with his friends. They readily complied, laughing and joking like nothing had happened.

A week later, Riku had gone home and talked to his dad. The conversation was awkward, and Riku left it still dissatisfied. He couldn't get any of the answers he wanted. Why? How? He did, however, get one answer he didn't really want. The date of the wedding. It was going to be in a month, way too soon. Riku's dad did admit that it was soon, but that it was okay anyway. Riku told his dad that he gave his support, but it was obviously empty.

The morning of the wedding, Riku went through a similar experience to that of the dinner night. Clothes all over, that woman in the middle. He tried to act happy for them, even though he knew he never could be. He smiled and took pictures with family and new family all day. The procession was small and quick. Riku felt out of place, like a past part of his father's life that didn't fit in this new life. He left as soon as reasonably possible and spent the rest of the day at home. The happy couple was going on a honeymoon for a week in Spain. Riku would be alone the whole time, eating and sleeping and going to school by himself. School was a comfort now. It was the only time he actually got to see Demyx and Axel, because his new stepmother wouldn't let them in the house; she said Axel was dirty and Demyx wasn't the type of kid Riku should be hanging out around. He knew she just didn't trust him.

Riku seemed to be loosing interest in school too, which was unusual for him. Even Axel commented about it, one day at lunch.

"So, having me as a role model really is having an affect on you, huh?" Riku had told him to fuck off.

"Hey, I'm just worried about you, you ass. Be appreciative." Demyx just sat in the middle without saying a word. At the end of that week, when his dad and Lydia came back, Riku went from pmsing to depressed. He didn't have an opinion about anything, did half of his school work, fell asleep in class, and didn't talk when he was with his friends. Everyone could tell something was wrong. Axel was the only one who decided to do something about it.

It was a three day weekend and one of the trio's favorite bands was coming to a local venue. Demyx and Axel were exited, but Riku, as usual, didn't care one way or another. Axel took this hard; he thought Riku didn't want to go because of him. It was only a matter of time before they blew up at each other.

"Riku! Why don't you care about this? We've wanted to go forever, and here's our chance, and you don't feel like it? I'm sick of your fucking moping around like it's the end of the world," Axel shouted.

"Whatever, Axel. You shouldn't force me to do this. I can change my mind."

"Why would you change your mind about this? And why the fuck are you acting like this? I half expect you to slit your wrists when I turn around." Riku wouldn't answer. He wouldn't even turn around to look at his friend. So Axel continued. "Is it because of me? Did I do something, and you just don't want to be around me anymore? Just tell it to me straight, man." At this point, Riku turned toward Riku with tears streaming down his face and yelled, "Maybe I do hate you!" and then ran out of the room. Demyx scolded Axel, then went to find Riku.

Of course, Riku was on the end of the pier, looking down at the ocean. Demyx stood next to him without saying anything for a while.

"Axel really is an asshole." Demyx nodded.

"I know he is. But, he is only worried about you. And when he couldn't figure out what was wrong, he blamed it on himself. That's just the way he his… you know he cares about you, right?"

"Yea." Demyx smiled. He hated seeing his friends fight. "It doesn't mean he should do that. Really, he's the one that needs to talk to me."

"Uh, Riku? Since you haven't noticed, that's all he's been trying to do lately. It seemed like you've only just woken up…" he chuckled. "I suppose you have a lot of catching up to do." They stood in silence for a while longer. Riku wondered where Axel was, what he was doing. He regretted yelling at Axel now.

"I'm going to go say sorry. See you later?"

"Okay. See you later." Riku jogged down the pier, toward wherever Axel was. Demyx smiled. He was happy that his friends could make up.

"Axel?" It had taken the better part of an hour for Riku to catch the bus to Axel's place. He was supposed to be home, but this was more important. He could deal with whatever was at home later. Although and angry stepmother was something Riku did not want to deal with… There was no answer so Riku walked into the apartment. He looked around, but Axel was nowhere to be seen. Riku, getting worried, checked the bathroom, and then the bedroom. A wave of the scent of alcohol hit Riku as he walked in. And there was Axel, passed out on the bed. Empty bottles lay on the table and ground. Immediately, Riku felt guilty for having caused this. He sat down on the bed next to Axel, who was snoring slightly. Even in his sleep he had a frown on his face. He was muttering something, almost like he was having a conversation. Riku thought about waiting till he woke up later, but then figured Axel wouldn't be waking up on his own for a while.

Riku gently shook Axel's shoulder, but to no avail. He tried again, a little harder this time. The snoring stopped, but Axel still seemed to be asleep. He tried again, his worry begging to grow. What if something was wrong with Axel? What if he had drunk too much? Riku had no idea how or where he got the booze. Finally he noticed the little smile on Axel's lips.

"Hahaha, where were you, Demyx? You took waaay too long to get back. I had to drink everything myself." Apparently Axel was still drunk. He opened his eyes slowly, wincing at the bright light coming through the window. And then he focused on the face over his.

"Riku?! Since when did you get here?" He had a hurt tone now. Childishly, he rolled over on his side, facing away from Riku.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you like that. It's just lately-"

"Don't make any excuses for yourself. You have no idea what you put me and Demyx through." Axel was surprisingly articulate for being so far from sober.

"I'm really sorry. I'll do anything to make it up to you."

"Huh." Axel took a moment to think, and then rolled over on his back again. He didn't look hurt at all anymore; instead, a smirk appeared. "Well then. I know what can make this situation better. First, you have to promise me you won't do that ever again.

"I promise, Axel."

"And then," but Axel didn't continue. Instead, he reached a long arm up to the back of Riku's neck and forcefully pulled him down into a rough, drunk kiss. On impulse, Riku slapped the man lying in front of him. Axel just laughed. And then he muttered something about going back to sleep and promptly did just that.

On the way home, Riku pondered the kiss. It felt strange. And more than that, why had Axel done it? Had he really meant it would make up for what Riku had done? Or was it just a result of too much booze? Riku couldn't be sure.

As soon as he opened his front door, though, all of that was forgotten.

"Where the hell were you? You had us worried sick!" Lydia stormed in the room and started having a fit.

"Sorry. I had to figure some problems out with one of the guys." Riku stomped up the stairs, not listening to or caring about whatever Lydia was ranting about this time. His dad didn't even come out to day hi. Of course Riku could understand; no one in their right mind would get in the path of the raving wench. It was already late, so Riku decided just to go to bed already, and forget about homework. That night, he had a strange and disturbing dream.

_He was sitting in a wooden chair in the middle of an empty, windowless room. A dim light shown above him, just lighting the room enough to see that nothing was there. Then, people started to appear before him: Axel and Demyx, but they were sad, reaching out to Riku. Riku felt like he was being pulled away from them, until they disappeared. Then his dad, who looked right at Riku but walked away without saying anything. And then a whirlwind of Lydia, yelling and screaming so loud that it was driving Riku insane…_

Riku started in bed, a cold sweat covering his body. He looked at the green numbers of his alarm clock. Only 1:15. Riku stripped of the clothes he was wearing from last night and put on some boxers. He didn't really like sleeping in much.

Eventless weeks passed. Riku went to school and hung out with Demyx and Axel. Demyx got a cute little girlfriend, and was very happy with her. Of course, he wouldn't let his relationship take time away from his friends. At least, he didn't think so. Riku and Axel understood, though, when he wanted to be with her. Summer vacation grew closer, and the three boys grew more and more impatient. They wanted it to be _here_ already. One day after school, they discussed this over dinner at the pier.

"I just don't understand why it can't be now," Demyx complained.

"That's cause the principals a sadistic asshole."

"You got that right," Riku agreed.

"Its just another two weeks. Not so bad. Right guys?"

"No. Lydia wants me to go visit my uncle over the whole summer break. I told dad that I wanted to stay here with you guys, but he says I should get to know my relatives."

"That fucking sucks. So, is it just your uncle and you the whole summer?"

"Nah. I have a cousin up there too. Apparently."

"Good luck. If you have internet access over there, remember to email us."

It actually wasn't as simple as Riku was making it seem. He had fought with his dad for hours over whether or not he would leave. Lydia wanted a second honeymoon, and she wanted it to last a lot longer than last time. Riku just thought she was a greedy bitch. He had decided to fight the decision until the very end. Until then, though, he would enjoy what time he had left with his friends.

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I don't think I'll be able to update as often as I'd like; school is crazy right now. Planning for collage is tough.

Please remember to review! Thanks


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